Letters
by Polly83
Summary: After her accident Claire is in hospital unconscious. Everyone from Drovers writes her letters to let her know how important she is.
1. Letter 1

**This is the first story I ever wrote, so I'd be glad to know what you think about it. I wasn't sure I could write a whole story back then, so I tried with letters, and I liked it. This way I could analyze how each character would react at Claire's situation. **

**By the way, after the car accident in this story Claire isn't dead, but she's in hospital unconscious.**

_**-1-**_

Dear Claire,

I don't know if you can hear me when I speak to you, so I'm writing a letter.

I don't remember the last time I wrote a letter, maybe I never did, so, please, don't pull my leg too much when you'll read this…

In the last few hours I was sooo muddled and shacked, I didn't know what to do or what to think.

Tonight, when I arrived at home, at our home, I noticed that all I've ever seen in my future, all I've ever wanted in my life, without you is worthless!

You always had to fight in your life, maybe this is the reason why you're so brave, and now, now that all seemed to go in the right direction, now that we could eventually live happy together, this bloody accident… Yesterday we both laughed and joked, and I felt like I was the most lucky man in the word… and now you're there, in a cold and dark room, all alone, far from Drovers…

Tomorrow I'll take with me some photos, so you'll have us all next to you, even if it's only in a frame. Everyone would love to come to visit you, but work needs to be done, or the boss will get angry, right?

Sometimes I wonder why I never noticed that you were sooo special for me.

Maybe because you ARE special! People respect you and admire you, also a viper as Sandra. This happens because you worked hard, and you never gave up.

You are a point of reference here. I didn't know how since I saw with my eyes the load of messages Meg collect from people wanting news about you. Practically the phone rung all day!

I never told you that, but I've always been so proud just to be your mate, at least since you beat Todd Stevens, who insulted your horse, when you were fifteen. That fight was unforgettable!! I was about to intercede, but I saw you could manage by yourself very well and I simply admired the show…

You know when I felt I loved you? When I saw Bryce with that waitress, in Melbourne. Then I thought I could never do something like this to you, the simple thought made me horrify!

In my way to our hotel I understood it's been you to make special a lot of moments in my life, the good and the bad ones. I don't know what I've done in my life to deserve you, but I'll always thank God because you were in my life.

My plan is to make you sooo happy for the rest of our lives, and I won't allow you to ruin this plan! You can bet I'll come there in your room everyday since you'll come home. I know you're nutty, but I'm nuttier than you, so, don't make me angry!

Tonight Charlotte was searching for you while I was trying to make her sleep. Since she's born she never spent a single day without you, surely you missed her.

Maybe she feels tension at home… We're all so… scared… and tangled…

I don't know if I'll let you ever read this letter, but write it made me feel better.

Now I'm feeling more optimist and trusting. Maybe tonight I'll sleep like a baby, almost like BOM!

I also feel a little hungry, I could get a lately snack. Don't you want me to look sick when you'll return, right?

Wait for me, I'll be back tomorrow

Good night. I hope you'll dream about me like I'll dream about you

All my love

Alex


	2. Letter 2

**Here we are... the second letter. This one is also Alex', but the others will be written by someone else. ****I hope I succeeded in keeping each letter in character. Let me know what you think.**

_**-2-**_

Hi you my love,

It's me again. I know that you'd scold me for ignoring job, but you'd behave the same way in my place, so… here there's another letter.

Since our trip to Melbourne I think everyday at our future. I truly meant what I said in the park, I'd really like Charlotte to have brothers or sisters to play with soon. I'm ready to bear your whimper, your bad mood etc for it. While you were pregnant you were sooo beautiful… I never saw you so amazing! At Jodi's wedding you literally took my breath away!

I was so impatient to ask you to marry me. I'm sooo angry because if this bloody accident never happened, now we'll be officially engaged!

About wishes… Nick had dreams since he was a little boy, first of all he wanted to be independent, and he succeeded. I've never had a lot of dreams, I thought the best I could do was to enjoy the present. When we decided to be partners I started wondering I could do something by myself, because I wanted to, not because of my name or my father. You made this all possible, you made me a better person. You are my partner, my best friend, my soulmate, and I also want you to be my wife and my children's mummy.

Maybe my dreams now could be true if I had noticed before how I felt about you… Have you ever thought about it? If I didn't come to Melbourne, or if you didn't get pregnant, or if Peter didn't get married…

And if we got together years ago?

With you everything was so different, you know it, but I didn't know why. Once, more than 10 years ago, I heard a bloke say something about you, I don't remember what he said, but his comment made me crazy, I only wanted to fight him. When he finally admitted his defeat he left saying: "What do you want, she isn't even your girlfriend!" For a second I thought it could be good… but I was so scared at the thought that you could laugh at me, that I could lose your friendship that was so important to me.

Do I am too much soppy, right? I know it.

Tess just call me, she said we missed a memorable scene: Jodi tried to wash Isabella, she chased after her in all the fence, but it the end Jodi washed herself, not Isabella! I hope Terry recorded that scene!

Recently he often records funny scenes. I think it's because he want you to see these too.

We all miss you sooo much!!!

At Drovers there's a lot of work to do, for both of us. Don't you want to leave this all in Tess's hands, right? So try to wake up as soon as possible! I desperately want to hug you again. And I will never leave you, neither in Gungellan for groceries.

See ya soon

Your Alex


	3. Letter 3

**Alex isn't the only one writing letters anymore… This one is Tess'.**

_**-3-**_

Hi Claire,

Alex told me he tried to wrote some letters to you, so I did it too. I hope you won't get angry like when I wrote to BOM.

When I said we hadn't a past and we could not have a future I didn't think you were the one that could not be here in the future! I could bear the idea of not seeing my niece growing up, but I can't stand at the thought that she should grow up without her mother! Here we all need you, not only your daughter. You ARE Drovers, I can't even imagine this place without you!

I feel like I'm living in a nightmare: we already lost our Mums and our Dad, now you and Charlotte are my whole family, I can't lose you too, I can't bear it.

Maybe I could have stopped that bloody car somehow… You could have moved your leg…

Everytime I think about what happened I wonder what could I do or what if someone arrived to rescue us… It's so illogical what happened! The white horse made you skid, but you stayed in the roadway, then you take that hollow, you lost car control and we ended precariously balanced on a ravine. How many possibilities there were of all these things to happen? And this stupid mess risk to mark our lives forever…

You'd say that I must fight and I can't give up. I know you didn't give up, you couldn't leave your little daughter without her Mum, but what if…

What would be Drovers without Claire McLeod?

We still have to make up for 20 years we were apart, I only started to know you!

You changed a lot of lives here, mine, Alex's, Becky's… With your strength and your willpower helped us to improve ourselves.

Because of you I gave up the idea of opening a bar in the city, because of you I started loving this place and this life, our father's life and yours. These are my roots, here I reconciled with Dad's memory and I understood what was really important to him.

My Mum suffered for love, and I didn't want to do the same. I didn't want to fall in love and make me vulnerable. Here I've learned how to let people in again. You passed through more trouble then I did, but love made you happy, and I'm sure you wouldn't change any of the choices you made.

We all want to see you back here bossing around, I'm gonna go crazy trying to do you job wondering if or when you'll come home…

I had to go now, Charlotte's crying and nobody is at home except for me.

Bye

Your darling sister

Tess

**Either ****you think this letter was in character or not, let me know, I'd appreciate. A lot.**


	4. Letter 4

**Another letter, this time from Becky. I always found unfair that nobody had even mentioned her for Claire funeral. Maybe Jessica couldn't or wouldn't come to shoot the eppy, but they could still say she had some kind of trouble and couldn't make it…. Becky esteemed Claire a lot, so she would have done whatever was in her power to come.**

**Here Claire isn't dead, and the others do hear from Becky.**

_**-4-**_

Dear Claire,

I'm writing to tell you I just started courses at Higgins Agricultural College and I'm alright, I'm really fine.

I rented a room with a girl. She's nice, she looks likeable, but definitely she's not Jodi… I miss her and our late speeches across the hole in the wall (but don't tell her!).

Jodi told me you hired someone who made her close the hole. It was predictable, but it's a bit sad to think about it… that hole was part of my old life…

I wrote this letter mainly because I had to thank you. Now I have plans. In my future I see a full-work life, but also a fulfilment life, and I have to thank you for this. You made me feel welcome when I needed it and you had faith in me when I didn't have confidence neither in myself. I don't know where I'd be now if it wasn't for you. I promise I'll do my best for take advantage of chances I have, I think I owe you this…

Jake worked hard in the past weeks, he did up our new home and our farm and he also helped me with my new place. I do think I'll be happy with him.

Greet Jodi, Meg, Terry, Tess, Alex and little Charlotte for me. I'd like to receive some letters from you too, I'd be very happy to feel Drovers' air sometimes, even if it's only by mail.

Your thankful friend

Becky

Before I could send this letter Jodi rang and told me about you accident. I asked if I could do something somehow, but she said not to worry about it and to keep studying because you'd want me to.

I think she's right, so I'll stay here and I'll do my best, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and in my prayers.

I know you'll manage, you'll sort it out because you're the strongest person I know.

A big hug

B


	5. Letter 5

**Jodi is the funny member of Drovers. I hope I managed to keep her that way.**

_**-5-**_

Hi boss,

Here's Jodes.

I know Becky sent you a letter from her college and I don't want her to go past me… :P

I'm a bit envious 'cause Becky has never sent me a letter since she left, only a postcard, but she's keeping in touch with me also by phone or by e-mail… so… it's not so bad…

I've rang her yesterday. She's just had her first day of classes. It's difficult, she'll have to work hard, but she's not scared. Sure she miss Jake and she miss all of us (besides how not to miss me?), but you and me, we know she's gonna manage, she's strong, just like you…

Here at Drovers everything's going quite well, but we feel your absence… Tess and Alex take turns at the hospital and here at Drovers and Nick helps us as much as he can. Nick and Tess seem to be closer everyday, maybe this time they're gonna built something…

Who knows why, but I'm the only one who's still single here. Maybe when you wake up you could introduce to me one of your doctors… Obviously he must be very nice, kind, funny, and if he's also rich… it'd be perfect! I wish this kind of person will be allowed to steal me from Drovers… :D

I had to confess, but reluctantly, that Drovers shows lack of "chief's hand" (I don't believe I'm actually writing something like this!!). Tess is doing great and she's doing everything she has to do, but she's soooo under pressure, I think she's going to collapse! By now only Nick can stand her (maybe it's because he don't live here and he don't see her bossing around every moment…).

And Alex… Alex is a little distracted… When he have to do something all by himself almost every time he rings asking what he was supposed to do 'cause he completely forgot it! It's very funny, I swear. He always tries to lighten the mood, but it's clear he misses ya sooooo much. He's sooo happy when he can go to the hospital and see ya! With Charlotte he's amazing: whenever he can he stays with her, they play together, he spends a lot of time in her room when he takes her to sleep. He said he reads fairytales, but I guess his "tales" are actually stories about you.

Ah, I almost forgot it, Mum told me Stevie will be here again in a couple of days. For sure this news will make you happier than me and Tess.

I suppose Alex persuaded Tess to ask for help.

He was right about this, but… I only wish Stevie will not bite!

Tess calling. She seems to be edgier than usual, I have to go in a hurry…

Come back as soon as you can

A hug

Jodi


	6. Letter 6

**Another letter from Alex. ****He's having a rough time, so forgive me for the sadness. **

_**-6-**_

Hi Claire,

It's me again.

As you can see, I launched a fashion trend: lots of people started writing something for you. At the beginning it was only us from Drovers, then came others. A few left a little card, others wrote more. I think you'll be crazy reading all this stuff…

Meg proposed to buy a book like you can find in hotels or museum or something, so who wants to leave a message can do it!  
Everything considered, it's not such a bad idea… then we can all at least have a good laugh in the future…

I found something very very interesting in Vince Lavise's letter. From what he wrote you seem to be the only reason to come to this area! I think he couldn't stand the fact you didn't date him! (And yes, the thought made me laugh!)

I must admit it's still weird for me to live at Drovers… With you here it should be different, but now I feel a little out of place there… It's like when a link in a chain is missing… You are the one who bind us all…

Luckily there's Charlotte… As soon as I can, I'll tell her all of the stories about when we used to ride the Rodeos together. By chance she's not able to talk yet and she can't silence me. Indeed I think she's glad to hear me talking about you: every time I mention her Mum she lights up!

Our little angel is the only person I can pour my heart out to. Here there's a lot of work to do and when work is over we are all shattered. Tess is nothing but a bundle of nerves; I'm almost scared to mention you in her presence! I think she wants to prove at any cost, that she's up to the challenge of doing your job, and she's also worried about you, so… now she's like a powder keg, ready to blow at any time! Nick is the only one able to calm her down a bit, but he's got a lot of work to do as well at Wilgul and I can't help him as much as I would like to.

I persuaded Tess to ask Stevie back, at least for a while. So Tess can rest herself and I'll be able to help that brother of mine. Stevie knows what to do and Tess can count on her, I only hope those two don't bite each other's head off!

As always, I'm trying very hard to be positive, but a month has already passed since the accident. You didn't wake up and he doctors keep telling us there's nothing new. They only say you're stationary and all we can do is wait… But I've never been good at waiting, you know.

I miss our arguments, your eyes, your smile, and our rides… I want to wake up with you on my side, have breakfast with you before we face a hard day of work. I don't know how long I'll be able to handle this mess, all the doubt and insecurity…  
I can't keep living in waiting, paying no attention to the job. I wish I could do something for you…

Nowadays even writing these silly letters that helped me in the beginning are able to do the trick. I keep thinking about all the time we wasted without noticing we were made for each other, and I can't get this thought out of my head.

Even working with horses reminds me a lot of moments I spent with you and I'd like to run to your bedside, find you awake and talk about all's going through my head…

Your doctors gave me permission to bring BOM to see you tomorrow. I hope this will be useful and you'll wake up. I confess I wish I could be the one to wake you up, like Prince Charming did with Sleepy Beauty, but if you'll wake up thanks to BOM, I'll be happy all the same.

Above all the most important thing is to have you back here, with me, with us.

See ya tomorrow  
Kisses   
Alex


	7. Letter 7

**Nick's letter. He's almost a brother in-law to Claire, so it's just normal that he's writing something for her too, but the thought didn't even crossed my mind till a girl asked me about it. than I spent a whole week trying to come up with something. I don't like Nick very much, sorry, I just can't understand how his mind works most of the times, so be kind. Anyway I'm pretty proud of the result. Maybe a bit confusing, but Nick IS confused… lol…**

_**-7- **_

Hi Claire,

Nick here. Like the others at Drovers I've been 'kindly' invited at write you a letter to leave it to great-grandsons and daughters...

I kind of know this letter will be the only contact I'll be able to have with you because Alex or Tess never leaves you! Neither of them will let me relieve them even for a few hours! They remind me of you when you had to walk Sirocco all night long!

I have to admit I was sort of troubled when I thought about what I wanted to write to you, we haven't really talked much lately… Some time ago we used to chat about everything… Now, when something happens to you, I had to stand aside, like when you had that horse accident with Peter… Tess and Alex were at your bedside while I sat in a chair on the other side of the room…

Seeing how things went, now it's quite amusing thinking of our Dads plan to stick us together.

In a certain way my parents were right seeing me with you and not with Tess. Between your sister and me there's an awfully strong bond, and I don't think it'll never be untied, however when we are together there's always something blocking us, something squeaking.

Sometimes when I'm with her I feel like I'm in heaven, but other times I feel uncomfortable, and this never happened with you, not even in our most embarrassing moments (do you remember Tess when entered your room and found us kissing, when you fell from the tractor, almost three years ago).

It's unbelievable how many things have changed since then…

Talking about changes, I'm so happy for you and Alex, I never thought I'd see him so happy with a woman! I swear to you it's been quite a shock for me to see him so changed!

I guess it was predictable from how he reacted when Vince Lavise was giving you too much attention, or so Alex thought. Now I have to say it was definitely jealousy!

Anyway I have to thank you. You tamed him, now he's a lot more tolerable and helpful and it's simpler to handle him…

I reckon you McLeod's always seem to have something wrong! At first Tess, then you…

I don't think I can even describe to you the look on Alex' face when they were putting you in the ambo, I've never seen him so scared!

As soon as we arrived in hospital he immediately began to react. He didn't let his despair have the upper hand.

I thought for sure he would break everything he came in contact with, maybe also _everyone_, yet he stayed quite calm.

I don't know what I'd do if it was me… If we hadn't found that Tess was healthy I don't think I could have ever forgiven myself for all the time I wasted with her (I guess this is partially what Alex feels about you…). I never really tried to work things out with Tess…

Do you think that one day Tess and I could have what you and Alex already have? Does the 'right moment' actually exist? And what if it exists but we've already lost it?

After all the ups and downs between us, I don't know anymore how to behave or what to think…

These days I'm trying to be there for Tess, without expecting anything in return because I know she has definitely something else on her mind, but I keep wondering if this 'right moment' will ever arrive and if so when.

Nowadays I think I can only wait. If I'm the right person for her like she's the right person for me (and I just had the confirmation 'cause I chatted about her all letter long), all will be fine…

About you, almost sister in law, come back to Drovers soon, before your Alex gets bored with all this 'perfect boyfriend' thing and starts up again with his old behaviour…

Kisses

Nick


	8. Letter 8

**Meg's turn. Mother hen at work. **

**As usual, my best wish is to keep them in character, I hope I made it. let me know if you think I did.**

_**-8-**_

Dear Claire,

It's me, Meg. Jodi has been collecting all the letters people have written to you and is organizing them in a big book. She noticed I haven't written anything yet. I've tried, several times, but I guess literature courses don't help in these circumstances…

You know I love you, as if you were my real daughter, I saw you growing up and face a lot of problems in your life. Now you are an amazing woman, strong and brave. I know that your parents are looking at you from heaven and I am sure they couldn't be prouder of you.

I've always wished you could have everything you could wish for, and now you have it. You have a job that you love (actually two, Drovers and the training business), a beautiful daughter, a man who loves you so much and you regained the relationship with your sister. What else could you wish for?

Life's been so unfair to you and I don't even want to think of it as a possibility that you'll not have the chance to enjoy what you have, what you laboriously built, it would be too unfair…

Here we all miss you so much, even if everybody tries to hide it.

Charlotte is more like you every single day… her glare, her facial expressions, her eyes… She's growing up so fast… Everyone spoils her like a princess, mainly Alex. I have a feeling you'll have to reproach him when you're back or she'll be too cuddled!

I haven't told Alex yet, I thought he could react badly, but Peter called. I don't know how, but he heard about the accident, he asked how you were. He also wanted to know if Charlotte was ok and if we can still take care of her, "given your condition". Obviously I replied she's very well here, we all love her and anyway you will improve soon.

I really hope this is the truth; otherwise I'm afraid he would try and take her with him.

I have a feeling he hasn't said anything to his wife yet, but he's thinking about doing it, especially if you don't improve soon. So now you have one more reason for you to wake up.

Please, come back with us soon

A big hug

Meg

P.S. Terry told me to greet you for him. He wishes he could write to you as we do, but he can't use his arm very well these days. He had a little fight with the tractor… He'd already had a never-ending list of jokes and he asked me to write them in his place, but it's mission impossible to read his penmanship, you know. And I can't take dictation from him either because he changes his mind every three seconds!

However in a couple of weeks he might be able to write himself, but I hope you'll be awake then.

**As you can see, even if this is not a traditional story, something does happen, so… stay tuned. **


	9. Letter 9

**Stevie is back on Drovers, so I figured she would be in this too. ****Enjoy.**

_**-9- **_

Hi Claire!

Drovers seems to be full of crazy people lately, they almost forced me to write you a letter! I don't even want to imagine why…

You know I'm not good at things like this, so I don't think I'll write too much… I'm more inclined to action than to "literature".

Probably someone already told you, seeing that everyone here seems to be writing to you all the time, but I'm back. I'm working here at Drovers again, at least for a while. Sure, it's not the best situation, I'd have liked much better to have been hired for another reason, but I'm glad I'll be here when you come back…

I might even decide to stay here, if '_the boss'_ agrees, I like the job, I like the place too and there is also the possibility I could even learn to handle your sister. She's not so bad… She's a bit stressful in this period, but I can understand her behaviour… It's so hard to have someone you love in front of your eyes and not be able to tell them how important they are in our life, I know from experience!

Maybe this is the right time to tell you something I hid for so long… (I can still change my mind and destroy this letter!). So… I spit it out… I have a daughter.

I know, it's quite shocking to think I'm a mother, but I am. Perhaps I'd think the same about you as a mother…

Anyway her name is Rose, my Rosie, I was 15 when she's born, I was too young and you know what kind of people my parents are… so she's grown up with my sister Michelle and my brother-in-law, and now Rose thinks Michelle is her mother.

Do you think I should tell her the truth?

I may seem silly because I'm looking for advice from someone who's in a coma, but you know I've never had too many friends… I have a lot of acquaintances, but it's not often that I'm really fond of someone… just like you… You are one of the very few friends I've ever had and I can truly trust.

I deeply wish we could create the old team once more, now that we found each other again…

I wrote enough, I have work to do, so Tess can stop to scowl at me!

Bye boss!

Stevie


	10. Letter 10

**Another Alex' letter. Aren't you tired of them? I wasn't, apparently. ****This one wasn't exactly 'planned', it just came in my mind and I wrote it. It's probably the letter/part/chapter I wrote quicker. I just needed the mere time to type what was floating in my head.**

_**-10- **_

Good morning honey,

It's morning again, despite the fact that I've hardly closed my eyes tonight.

Guess who I met yesterday when I was just come back to Drovers? Peter Johnson!!! The knob, without showing any emotion, wanted to pick Charlotte up!

I think you can imagine how deeply I wanted to punch him! Luckily I had Charlotte in my arms, so I couldn't do what I had in my mind, or he might have a few badly broken bones!

I'm still sooo angry with him!!!

How can he even think of taking BOM away from us? And only because now he told his wife about her! I've always known he was definitely a bastard! He can't understand! He can't even realize how much we need Charlotte, just like we need you!

It's bad enough I can't talk to you; I think I'd go completely crazy if I didn't have our little angel either…

The thing that bothers me the most, is that Meg knew it! She didn't know he was coming, but she answered the phone when he called two weeks ago. I know Meg didn't tell us because she didn't want us to be bothered even more, but she had to tell anyway!

When Peter said he had called I fell from the clouds, and you know I hate to be caught off guard!

Moreover he said he found out from the newspapers, but what did he do in the last 7 weeks? Why did he wait more than a month to get in touch?

If he truly cared about Charlotte he should have said something right after the accident, not 5 weeks later! I know I shouldn't say it, but if he had cared about you even, he should have got in touch ages ago!

I mean, everyone in the neighbourhood called, the postman, every shopkeeper in the Gungellan area, someone even near Fisher! Some were quite hypocritical, but at least they did something! The knob who, despite everything else, actually lives in Fisher now, did nothing!

I don't want to worry you, because as soon as you wake up all this mess will be solved, but I had to tell you. You are the one who can always make me feel better, even if I feel like the whole world is falling apart around me…

I tried to talk to him calmly, to tell him it's useless to take Charlotte away because here she has all the attention she needs and it might be traumatic for her to suddenly change her setting and, what's more, to take her to someplace she doesn't even know!

I've been very 'diplomatic', you could be proud of me! I was never offensive toward him! But he wouldn't understand… I only got him to agree to wait for two weeks. If things will be the same in two weeks he's going to call his lawyer and ask for custody of Charlotte.

I'm so sorry, I couldn't get anything more.

Please, wake up as soon as you can! I promise I'll try again, I'll do whatever I can to prevent Peter from taking Charlotte away, I'll ask Harry to help me with all of his lawyers, or I'll even call Bryce if it's necessary, but you must wake up before the knob starts his 'plans'…

I'm fighting with all my strength because I want you to find this place like you left it, but I need you beside me! With you on my side I know I could fight and win every battle in the world, but without you… it is just meaningless… everything would be totally meaningless…

I miss you sooo much

Alex

**So… what will evil Peter do next? He'll try to ruin their lives once more? Will Claire wake up in time? Eh eh… I already know… I you wanna know too, keep reading.**


	11. Letter 11

**The moment you were waiting for… (Who am I kidding, I was waiting for writing this the whole time myself) Claire-Sleeping Beauty-McLeod wakes up.**

**She wakes up, but Alex keeps writing anyway. Why? Maybe he became kind of writing-addicted, just like me… Anyway he's not the only one…**

_**-11-**_

Finally this nightmare is over!!

I don't think I'll ever be able to explain how I'm feeling right now! This is the best gift I could've ever received for my birthday…

I know there are a lot of long and hard months in front of us. You'll still be in hospital for a while, and then you'll have to carry on your physio, as when you were expecting Charlotte, but now I know the worst part is behind us, or at least it is for me, as you were unconscious!

I can hardly wait for the moment I'll have you again at home with me!!

I promise I'll work for both us, I'll do my best for making up for the lost time of work, even if I know it will be hard 'cause I didn't work so much in the last two months…

It feels so good to see you sleeping without wondering if you'll ever wake up and when… I could watch you sleeping for days and days… but I figure I should sleep for a while myself… Tomorrow morning Tess will relieve me and I'll have to get back to work…

I wonder if they'll let you use a cell-phone… I hope I get to call you…

I'm so thrilled I actually saw you awake, even if only for a few minutes, that I'm starting to blabber senseless things!

Sometimes I feel like waking you up to check on you, just to make sure it's true and I'm not dreaming, but the doctors say you need as much rest as possible, and we both know it'll be very hard to make you rest once you get home!

I don't even know why I'm writing a letter, I know in a while I'll be able to talk to you directly, but I have to pour my heart out now… The alternative would be talking to myself, and in this case I'd be even more crazy!

And I also have the feeling that I wouldn't be able to talk to you calmly, at least not now, I would only tire you out with my own anxiety…

On one hand I'd like so much to stay here with you, but on the other hand I can't wait to be back at Drovers and celebrate with the others. Moreover I miss Charlotte. As of now I have spent more than three days in a row here, I don't want her forget me!

Anyhow I was thinking that I should consider the option of locking you up at home. In the last year you've been twice in this hospital! And for months each time, not for a simple flu! If we add the physio months, you've actually been injured more than healthy! And I was the idiot still competing at rodeos…

Silly Alex fell sound asleep while he was writing another letter. By now I can't count how many letters he has written!

Anyway when Nick dropped me here I forced that idiot of yours to stop this one and sent him home with his brother. I don't think he has slept in a proper bed in at least four days!

He made me promise I'd give this letter to you as soon as you woke up or he wouldn't leave!

I envy him a little bit in this, because by writing, he has found a way to pour his heart out.

I tried to do the same, but then Alex put a stop to it because my letters were excessively depressing!

He's used to putting everything as a joke, and he somehow succeeded even in this case, despite the fact he was as worried as I was, but I just couldn't do it…

I also have the feeling everyone should hate me for the way I have acted in the past two months, I was very very pig-headed, I felt like I was under so much pressure… I had so many things going on in my life… just when I was not worried anymore because of my health I had to worry because of yours!

Anyhow, luckily, now it is all sorted out and we can tell the world that Claire McLeod will come back more hardened than ever!

Probably as soon as you wake up I'll have to report every single detail of what happened at Drovers while you weren't there, so it's useless to write it all now, but there are so many thing I'd like to tell you…

In the last weeks I would have liked so badly an older sister's advices… but right now I can't think, like usually happens when a deep worry is over and all stress and tiredness relapse on one's back.

Anyway I have to tell you at least one thing…

Lately Nick has stayed very close, he came by here often to help and comfort me. He was the only one who could actually cheer me up. With him I felt more relaxed than I could have ever imagined in these circumstances and now I know that having him close to me really makes me feel good, when we don't waist our energies hurting each other.

Maybe this could be the right time, this time we could be on the same wavelength, who knows…

Right now the only thing I know is that I've never felt so positive, relaxed and hopeful, and this is not only due to your waking up, even if it helped a lot.

I can't wait to tell you everything, so I leave you and I'm going to take a nap, until you'll wake.

See you later, I love you

Tess

**Since Claire is awake, there's no reason for me to keep this going, so there will be just one more letter.**


	12. Letter 12

**Final letter. This story was mainly about Claire, so I figured I could write a sort of epilogue, this time written by Claire herself. Some good news on the way…**

_**-12-**_

Happy birthday Alex!

I'm so sorry you're not with me right now, but this gives me the chance to write this letter. I'm so happy that tonight you should be at home, I miss you.

I feel like I woke up from my coma a lifetime ago, and yet a few weeks ago I still had weekly medical examinations and physio sessions…

When I was in a coma all of you wrote me beautiful letters, and I still read them when I'm a bit down, especially when you're not here. That helps me a lot. It reminds me that, despite anything that could happen, I've always had beside me people I could count on, and not everyone is so lucky.

I wanted to thank everyone who showed me they cared for me, for my health, but I haven't thanked you yet. Maybe I took you for granted; I took for granted that you were there beside me.

Now I learned to never take anything for granted and everyday, when I wake up, I know how lucky and happy I am to have the life I have.

Thanks Alex, thanks for being always by my side, for listening when I had to pour my heart out and for not asking me questions when it wasn't the right moment for me. Thanks because with Charlotte you're the most wonderful father (even if you cuddle her a bit too much, I don't want to have a spoiled daughter!) and thanks for those letters that still can warm me up.

In the last 12 months so many things have happened… we also run the risk to have to give up our business when we've been sued, but I've always thought that in the end all this mess could be solved because now our lives are indissolubly bond, and we can face everything if we are together, we make a good team, remember?

Finally by now all this seems to be passed out, thanks to this society from Adelaide, but I'm a bit sorry you have to stay away for days looking for contracts. I'm even more upset today because you're away for your birthday! Luckily, if everything goes in the right way, this one might be the last time, then we'll walk with our legs.

I also know that in a few months we'll have someone else to feed (and if the bub will be like its father we'll need a lot of food to feed him –or her!-) and I won't work full time for a while, but it's ok.

When I was expecting Charlotte I was scared, I was scared that my life would be completely messed up by this pregnancy. It had been, but the change was for the better, and I'm not scared anymore.

Once your mother told me that have children to take care of keeps you young, in fact I feel like a teenager! God knows what… perhaps… our kids in some months could have a cousin to play with, now that Tess and Nick are finally together…

Today surely my mind is somewhere else… I'm wanting so badly for you to come home, I've even had hallucinations… I can hear your Ute approaching, but it's not… I guess it's logical, I mean, this is the first birthday of yours that we celebrate together… last year I was still in hospital… and sure as a hell I don't wanna spent the day with Meg in the kitchen!! (She asked me to help her, then she kicked me off the room because I was making a mess…)

Come back soon

I love you

Claire

**I hope you enjoyed this. I did like writing each character's response to the events, figuring what would they think or write in those circumstances. Playing with characters actually. If I succeeded, let me know. I'd greatly appreciated. **

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